So I just found out that the one day I get to see Aaron in possibly the next two weeks, he has to work. Can't get off. Not his fault; I'm not mad at him at all. I'm incredibly sad because first I realized that I couldn't see him Sunday/Monday (realized Sunday is Mother's Day--probably going to be in Weatherford), and then I was like, okay, I'll see him all day Friday. Come to find out that he's got to work til close on Friday, and I have to leave Ranger by 9 (because 1, I have to leave that early to stay awake on the drive home, and 2, I told Caitlyn I'd do something with her for her birthday, and I hardly ever get to hang out with her anymore ...). So that gives me ... three hours to see him. Three freaking hours. 168 hours in the week, and I actually get to see him for three. Is a day too much to ask for? Is six freaking hours too much to ask for? What about four? Anything more than three. I don't know the last time I only got to see him for only three hours. It kills me. I wait all week watching people snuggle on the couches downstairs with their in-town boyfriends who they get to see whenever they want, and then I come to find out that I only get to see my boyfriend for three hours out of possibly two weeks ...
And it's just compounded by the fact that this is my last weekend before I start a new job. This is probably one of the last chances I'm going to have to get to see him for any extended period of time ... granted, I don't know for sure, because I haven't found out my work schedule yet. I do only work 20 hours a week. The question is just when ... I'd rather work three six- to seven-hour days and have the other four off than work four hours a day over five days ...
Maybe I'm too picky. I don't know. I don't know. I just want to get to see Aaron.
All of this added on to the fact that it's right before he leaves on tour. This would be the time when I'm trying to cram in the most time with him, before I don't get to see him for one or two or maybe even three months ... but no, things keep going wrong, my plans keep falling through, I'm left here staring at my schedule like it's a house of cards that's just been knocked over by a draft. Not to mention that he doesn't have any money to come see me, and understandably so; and by the time he actually does have money to come to Abilene, it'll be time for him to go on tour, and then I won't see him for God knows how long ... =(
I can't go by at two tomorrow; I'll already be in Dallas. The only way this would work would be if we picked you up and took you with us when you got off work, and I could have you back in Eastland by the time you needed to go to work on Friday. It just won't work. It's not your fault. This weekend is just so complicated. But it's my last chance to go visit you for any lengthy period of time, and I don't even have that. Everything sucks.
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3 comments:
don't worry about it. I know it sucks, but you'll be ok. I've seen you handle other crap ok, and also don't forget that no matter what he'll still think the sun shines out your ass. (yay Juno!) I dunno, all this might be blown over by now, but if not, just go cry and write yourself out and make someone buy you a slurpie and pretend it's from me.
on a bit more serious note, don't let his absence totally consume you or control your happiness. I don't mean to be cold/unfeeling, you know I like you too much to want to make you feel bad on purpose but also--don't let this have too much bearing on who you are and how you interact with the world.
But seriously, you will be ok.
On a completely different note, my brother got me the special edition 2 disc set of Sweeney Todd!
yaaaaaaaay
Oh yeah, and more than 3 hours was way too much to ask for, you know nobody ever gets lucky enough to see people they love for more than that. And if they do then they take it for granted and freak out when they don't get to see the other person for -gasp!- a WHOLE DAY! so you know. don't sweat it. I mean you never know. In a parallel universe, you and Aaron are married with a child, and he's sent to prison for life on a false charge by a judge who's been lusting after you. After 15 years Aaron escapes prison he becomes a serial killer to avenge your assumed death. Then, not only did you not get to see him for 15 years, but when you do, he kills you not knowing it's you because you've completely changed due to self-induced arsonic poisoning.
yep.
: D
gotta get things in perspective you know, otherwise you'll go insane.
one last thing before I crash:
Don't make plans.
You know they never work out, so just don't worry about them. :)
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